Once again I have no idea whats wrong with me, but all I do is yell at people here, avoid other ppl, and cry over & over again.  When I get like this EVERY little thing aggravates me.  Wether it be ppl that keep calling to tell me stupid shit I dont care about ( no names ) or the tv being too loud, or anything anyone that lives over here says.  Just every little thing.  I hate when I'm like this cuz I know i'm a complete bitch to everyone, but I cant help it, and I dont know whats wrong.  I'm sorry.  I guess part of it is missing Tom.  I probablly wont get to see him til NEXT weekend, if I dont have to work the whole time.  I dont know. I just feel like something between isnt right.  Maybe its just me.  Sometimes it feels like he doesnt really care as much as he used to.  I know if I told him that he'd be all like 'but I do care" but it still feels like somethings wrong.  I've felt like there ws something on his mind that he wont tell me a lot lately.  He always tells me 'nothings wrong, I'm just tired' or some poor excuse like that, but they dont work on me.  trust me, I'm the queen of poor excuses to get out of telling something whats bothering you.  I try not to do that with him, and I wish he wouldnt do it with me.  It makes me feel like its soemthing I did and he doesnt want to tell me because he doesnt want me to feel bad or get upset or something, but whatever it is, I wish he was just tell me so we could talk it out.  Maybe the reason I've been so upset is because I feel like he is, and I cant fix it, and that makes me upset.  I dont know.  This really sux though.  We dont even talk like we used to anymore.  And we're supposed to go see Spiderman 2 together when it comes out on the 30th, but I was thinking about it today, and I was wondering... will he be able to even go, or will he still be grounded?  He has the phone back & can have ppl over, but they still wont let him on the computer, and he has to get that b4 he can acctually go out again, so I dunno.  but that really sux cuz I really wanted him to be able to go to Java this week, but I know thats not going to happen.  Well I feel a little better getting some of that out since I havent really had anyone to talk to lately, so I guess I'm gonna try to go back to sleep cuz I have to go to school early in the morning.  Good night.

~*~ -I- AsHy -l- ~*~