Monday, June 07, 2004
wIsHiNg My LiFe AwAy...

Once again I have no idea whats wrong with me, but all I do is yell at people here, avoid other ppl, and cry over & over again.  When I get like this EVERY little thing aggravates me.  Wether it be ppl that keep calling to tell me stupid shit I dont care about ( no names ) or the tv being too loud, or anything anyone that lives over here says.  Just every little thing.  I hate when I'm like this cuz I know i'm a complete bitch to everyone, but I cant help it, and I dont know whats wrong.  I'm sorry.  I guess part of it is missing Tom.  I probablly wont get to see him til NEXT weekend, if I dont have to work the whole time.  I dont know. I just feel like something between isnt right.  Maybe its just me.  Sometimes it feels like he doesnt really care as much as he used to.  I know if I told him that he'd be all like 'but I do care" but it still feels like somethings wrong.  I've felt like there ws something on his mind that he wont tell me a lot lately.  He always tells me 'nothings wrong, I'm just tired' or some poor excuse like that, but they dont work on me.  trust me, I'm the queen of poor excuses to get out of telling something whats bothering you.  I try not to do that with him, and I wish he wouldnt do it with me.  It makes me feel like its soemthing I did and he doesnt want to tell me because he doesnt want me to feel bad or get upset or something, but whatever it is, I wish he was just tell me so we could talk it out.  Maybe the reason I've been so upset is because I feel like he is, and I cant fix it, and that makes me upset.  I dont know.  This really sux though.  We dont even talk like we used to anymore.  And we're supposed to go see Spiderman 2 together when it comes out on the 30th, but I was thinking about it today, and I was wondering... will he be able to even go, or will he still be grounded?  He has the phone back & can have ppl over, but they still wont let him on the computer, and he has to get that b4 he can acctually go out again, so I dunno.  but that really sux cuz I really wanted him to be able to go to Java this week, but I know thats not going to happen.  Well I feel a little better getting some of that out since I havent really had anyone to talk to lately, so I guess I'm gonna try to go back to sleep cuz I have to go to school early in the morning.  Good night.

~*~ -I- AsHy -l- ~*~


Posted at 11:03 pm by AsHy

Erika
June 7, 2004   11:09 PM PDT
 
You know i am always here if you need someone to talk to. I love you and i'm sorry that the whole tommy thig is getting you upset. But i really do think tommy cares about you. Things will look up, i promise.
 

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Hello. I'm Ashleigh, I am a lil neRd. If you are actually
reading this, you are probally a big loser too.

The Basics
Name backwards :: hgielhsA
Sex :: female
Height :: 5'0 or 5'1 hehe! I'm short
Clothing :: usually jeans or dickies and a tee shirt
This or that...
Nice smiles or nice eyes? :: nice eyes
Jeans or skirts? :: Jeans but some skirts are cute too
Boots or sneakers? :: sneakers
Natural or make-up? :: eye makeup
Restaurants or fast food? :: fast food! I'm fat!!
Italian food or Chinese? :: Chinese
Streaked or dyed hair?:: depends
Vampires or Gods? :: Vampires... and Greek gods
Drugs or cigarettes? :: cigarettes are SO gross!! drugs are
stupid too, but doesnt bother me that much
Cake or pie? :: wedding cake! or ice cream!
How...
Do you want to die? :: loved
Much time do you take to dress up? :: depends where i'm goin
Do you...
Sing? :: only to Margo! She loves it! :-D
Dance? :: only when alone or being stupid! And in Swing Dance!! Its so fun!!
Like spicy food? :: Yeah
Prefer bagels over yogurt? :: I dunno. they're both good!
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? :: Yesum!! Hes the bestest!!! :D
Think babies are cute: Yeah!
Children in general? :: Love 'em
Believe that everyone has a purpose in life? :: yeah, but most ppl fuck it up
Are...
You a girl? :: yesum
You a comedian? :: no, I'm usually the only one to laugh at my jokes
Your friends true friends in your opinion? :: most of them, I think

Describe...
Your race :: French, Native American, Italian & I forgot what else
Your hair :: Light brown
Your eyes :: honey green
Your perfect mate (physical features) :: ??

What...
Are your weaknesses? :: lazy, unmotivated, and pessimistic
Are your fears? :: spiders
Does your perfect pizza consist of? ::cheese and ham
Is one thing you would like to achieve? :: a nice family

three things...
you love :: music. monkeys. The OC.
you hate :: spiders. Englsh class. betrayal
you avoid :: ppl who dislike me, gangstas, mean ppl that discrimanate

When was ..
last car ride :: a lil while ago coming home from school & Janines
last good cry ::I've been pretty happy lately! But I think my last vry was the night of Shamrock fest cuz a lot of people made me feel ike shit that night.
last library book checked out :: I have no idea!!
last movie seen :: Pirates of the Caribbean
last book read :: Gingerbread. It was good!
last cuss word you said :: mother FUCKer!
last beverage drank :: Dr. Pepper
last food consumed ::praline & whatchamacallit
last crush :: Tom!(also current)
last phone call :: Margo
last tv show watched :: boy meets world
last time showered :: This morning
last shoes worn :: converse
last cd played :: one that I burned. Its got a bunch of really good songs!!
last downloaded :: Sugarcult
last annoyance :: grandparents... nuff said
last disappointment :: when I couldnt go to Toms Saturday cuz my grandma doesnt know how to keep her nose outa my buisness!
last soda drank :: dr. pepper
last thing written :: math homework
last key used :: i turned the car on this morning
last word spoken :: "I'll runaway with you, by my side." -singing Echo by trapt
last sleep :: in French class
last im :: Paul
last weird encounter :: umm i dunno
last time amused :: i"m trying to think of it. There was something that was like REALLY funny today, but if i think of it I will come back to this question.
last time wanting to die :: umm I dunno
last time hugged :: I think it was Tom. Sarah kinda jumed on me today & tryed to hug me, but I wasnt expecting it & kinda grabbed her boob on "acident'
last time scolded :: ?
Last time scolding :: haha! Me & Erika were 'scolding' a bunch of ppl in PE today, as usual!
last time resentful :: I forgot what that means
last chair sat in :: well considering that i dont stand while im at a computer the one im sitting in right now
last lipstick used :: dont wear lipstick, but I put on this really yummy strawberry lipGLOSS stuff in 7th hour
last time dancing :: swing dance club
last poster looked at :: Seth & Ryan from the oc in the pool! YUMMY!
last webpage visited :: www.breakdownweb.com
   

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CWINDOWSDesktopCinderella.JPG
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