Yeah.  umm nothing too big has been going on.  Just school, work, tv, & Tom.  This is my last week of summer school!!  yay!  and I finally got paid! I have to checks I need to cash, but I'm saving them.  I want me, my mommy, my mommys friend, & Tom to all go shoping one day, so I'm waiting for that to get them cashed.  I need to go soon though! I need a new bathing suit & a wallet & stuff.  Yeah, lets see, what did I do this weekend?!...  Well Friday me, Margo, & Caroline went to the movies & saw White Chicks.  It was pretty good, but I had stuff on my mind, but its all good now!  Then Saturday Paul, Dennis & Tom picked me up.  I only had like 20 minutes to get ready cuz as soon as I got out the shower they said they were on their way.  It was okay though.  I chilled with Tom all day!!  We had lots of fun!!  hehe.  0:-)  Then today I just watched tv & sat around in my bed.  Well I'm gonna go watch more tv & talk to Tom!  HoLlEr!!  hehe

-l- ~*~AsHy~*~ -l-

Once again I have no idea whats wrong with me, but all I do is yell at people here, avoid other ppl, and cry over & over again.  When I get like this EVERY little thing aggravates me.  Wether it be ppl that keep calling to tell me stupid shit I dont care about ( no names ) or the tv being too loud, or anything anyone that lives over here says.  Just every little thing.  I hate when I'm like this cuz I know i'm a complete bitch to everyone, but I cant help it, and I dont know whats wrong.  I'm sorry.  I guess part of it is missing Tom.  I probablly wont get to see him til NEXT weekend, if I dont have to work the whole time.  I dont know. I just feel like something between isnt right.  Maybe its just me.  Sometimes it feels like he doesnt really care as much as he used to.  I know if I told him that he'd be all like 'but I do care" but it still feels like somethings wrong.  I've felt like there ws something on his mind that he wont tell me a lot lately.  He always tells me 'nothings wrong, I'm just tired' or some poor excuse like that, but they dont work on me.  trust me, I'm the queen of poor excuses to get out of telling something whats bothering you.  I try not to do that with him, and I wish he wouldnt do it with me.  It makes me feel like its soemthing I did and he doesnt want to tell me because he doesnt want me to feel bad or get upset or something, but whatever it is, I wish he was just tell me so we could talk it out.  Maybe the reason I've been so upset is because I feel like he is, and I cant fix it, and that makes me upset.  I dont know.  This really sux though.  We dont even talk like we used to anymore.  And we're supposed to go see Spiderman 2 together when it comes out on the 30th, but I was thinking about it today, and I was wondering... will he be able to even go, or will he still be grounded?  He has the phone back & can have ppl over, but they still wont let him on the computer, and he has to get that b4 he can acctually go out again, so I dunno.  but that really sux cuz I really wanted him to be able to go to Java this week, but I know thats not going to happen.  Well I feel a little better getting some of that out since I havent really had anyone to talk to lately, so I guess I'm gonna try to go back to sleep cuz I have to go to school early in the morning.  Good night.

~*~ -I- AsHy -l- ~*~

Yeah.  I'm really tired. I got up at 7 & took a shower & got ready & shit & went to Tom's around 10 am.  He was supposed to be sleepin so I could crawl into bed with him until he woke up, but he was already up playin video games with Nick & Aric.  So we chilled & stuff.  "Watched" LOTR 2 & X-Men2.  Uhh they were some good movies!! hehe.  Then we went to Arics baseball game.  Tom was playin football with some dudes & got all gross & sweaty.. it was sick!!  I still love him though.  But well my uncle was supposed to pick me up & bring me home, but a bunch of shit happened & he bailed on me, so I had to call my grandma & stuff & I guess she yelled at my mom cuz my mom was all pissed & shit & said it was the last time i'd go over there.  I almost cryed, but I had to hold it back cuz I didnt want him to see me like that.  Thats like the only way I get to see him though cuz hes always grounded & stuff. I'm seriously miserable without him.  Sometimes I think I should be on anti-depresesnts... but when I'm with him I always get really happy. Its like with other ppl I sometimes put on an act to pretend to be happy, but I dont have to do that with him.  He makes me feel really good about myself & I forget about everything else thats wrong. he makes me so carefree.  I love everything about him.  He can make my whole body melt with just one word.  I wish I could spend everyday & everynight with him.  I really do love him with all my heart!  Well I'm gonna go talk to him & then go to sleep cuz I got work in the morning. 

~*~AsHy~*~

Lots has gone down.  Dont wanna type it all, so I'm gonna just start with now!  Well yesterday I went to Tom's.  We had fun!!  I played Kerplunk with Eric, and I made Tom watch Sleeping Beauty!!  Then I watched tom, Mr. Jerry, Mrs. Kelly,  Kenny play cards.  Tom sucks!! hehe.  I t was fun!!  :D  I love him so much!!!  But Pauls mad at me!  :(  I bit his finger really hard.  Well what does he expect?!  he stuck his finger in my mouth!  And he made fun of me earlier that day cuz I didnt bite him hard enough.  Oh well, he'll get over it! Tomorrow I have to sign up for summer school.  BlAh!  And umm oh yeah!  I have to work Saturday!! Its gonna be a reptile show!! Its gonna be cool!! hehe.  U should come visit me!!  Well im gonna go now. 

~*~AsHy~*~

Name] Ashleigh

Do you like it] I guess.

Nicknames] Ashy, Ashes, Ashtray, Ash-hole, Assleigh

Age] 15

Birthday] February 26^th

Sign] Pisces

School] Mandeville High

Status] Taken!!

Crush] my baby Tommy!

Virgin] nope

Natural hair color] light brown

Current hair color] brown

Eye color] honey & green

Height] 5'0"?

Bra size] 34 C

[ family ]

Parents] Donna & Scott

Siblings] one sister, 11, Amber

Live with] Mom, Sister, & Grandparents

[ favorites ]

Number] 13 & 7

Color] blue, black, pink, orange

Day] any but Sunday & monday

Month] ?

Song] have too many

Movie] haqve too many

Band] lots

Season] dunno

Sport] i like watching x-treme sports

Class] dunno

Teacher] I miss Mrs.Weber! & I love Mrs.Liddell

Drink] dr pepper

Veggie] I dunno

TV Show] The O.C.

Animal] monkey

Flower] dunno

State] Cali

[number]

of times i have had my heart broken] lots, I’m fraggle!

of hearts i have broken] I dunno, a few

of guys/girls i have kissed] guys-about 12 that I can think of right now, girls-I think 5

of continents i have lived in] 1

of tight friends] many!

of cd's that i own] whoa! Lots!! 2 cases full, plus stacks

of scars on my body] I duno

[ love and relationships ]

Do you have a bf/gf] Yesum!

Do you have a crush] nope, I’m in love!

how long have you liked him/her] about 6 months

Why do you like this person]  hes sweet, he makes me feel special, hes funny, he always make me smile without even trying, he always knows the right things to say, hes fun to be with, the way he kisses me, the way he smiles, the way he smells, the fact that hes not afriad to admit when he cries, & I can just be me around him. The list could go on for hours. I love absolutely everything about him.

If you're single... why are you single]

If you're not single... give details...] well what kind of details do you want?

Who was your first love] I htought it was love, but I have my doubts now

What do you miss about them] nothing.

[ the past ]

What is the one thing you would change about your past] there are a few things that don’t need to be mentioned

Last thing you heard] ed, edd, & eddy

Last thing you saw] computer screen

Last thing you said] bye?

Who is the last person you saw] grandma

Who is the last person you kissed] Tommy!!

Who is the last person you hugged] Paul

Who is the last person you fought with] grandma

Who is the last person you were on the phone with] Tom!

What is the last TV show you saw] Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy!

What is the last song you heard] Yellowcard-Only One

[ future ]

What are you going to do after this] listen to music or watch tv

Who are you going to talk to] whoever calls me

Where are you going to go] my bed

How old will you be when you graduate] 18

What do you wanna be] prob. Radiologist

Where will you be in 25 years] ew I’ll be like 40! I guess married & I dunno what else

[ have you ever ]

Drank] yes

Smoked] yes

Had sex] yes

Stolen] yes

Done anything illegal] yes

Wanted to die] yes

Hit someone] yes

[ other ]

Do you write in cursive or print] print

Are you a lefty or a righty] righty

What is your sexual preference] guys

What piercings do you have] my ears & cuff

Any tattoos] nope

Do you drive] nope

Do you have glasses or braces] braces, but get them off on the 9^th!

Did you like this survey] why not

[ physical appearance ]

What do you most like about your body] boobies!

And least] I dunno

How many fillings do you have] dunno

Do you think you're good looking] not really, but I’m alright

Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?] sometimes

Do you look like any celebrities] a few ppl say Avril, but I don’t agree

[ fashion ]

Do you wear a watch] sometimes

How many coats and jackets do you own] none. I just wear sweatshirts

Favorite pants/skirt color] black or jeans

Most expensive item of clothing] dunno. Im cheap

Most treasured] I don’t really treasure my clothes

What kind of shoes do you wear] converse

Describe your style in one word] umm me?

Hello.  i"m on the phone with Tommy, helping him make a blog, so I decided to update myne.  I dont even remember the last time I updated,so hmm, lets see.  Well the other night me & Margo took her das car again & she picked David, Dennis, & Kenny up & I stayed at Tom's house with him!  We chilled & stuff.  No details needs.  ;) hehe.  And Margo & DAvid went back to her house... alone...  haha./ but unfortunalately nothing happened.  In time... in time...  anyways.  then the next day David, Paul, Dennis, Billy, & Jerry left to go to Florida, so Me & Margo had no reason to go out.  So I went & babysitted this lil boy.  he was really cute. Then They all came back from Florida today, aso me & margo were gonna go out tonight, but her damn grandma came in town from Alabama, so she had to go back to her moms  So shes taking her moms car out to see David (he better make it worth it) and I cant go cuz Im at my house & no one will bring me over there.  :(  I'm still gonna try to figure something out.  I might hava a plan, not sure if it'll work though...  Anyways....  I forgot what all else I was gonna say.  But I got this website emailed to me the other day & it had 'kissing games'  I've always wanted to kiss underwater & makeout with an icecube in my mouth, but here are a few of the games that look kinda fun.   Go to www.thekiss.com for more. 

 Get the Gum
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    To play this game, you obviously need a piece of gum... choose a flavor that both partners like.

   One person chews the gum up a little. Then, the other player must kiss the gum chewer and try to get the gum out of their mouth, while the gum chewer tries to keep ahold of the gum! Once the second player gets the gum away, the first player then tries to get the gum back.

   This is a good game to practice using your tongues, and is good if you haven't done much tongue kissing before. It helps you relax a little and get used to using your tongue, putting it in someone else's mouth, and having their tongue in yours.

Secret Word
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    This game is a great one to play over the course of a day, date, or evening.

   To start the game, you and your partner must decide upon a 'code word' (or words). For the duration of the game, whenever someone says that word, you and your partner must kiss.

   For best results, pick a word that will be used somewhat often, but not every sentence. "And", "If", etc. are bad words, because they are used way too often! Depending on what you are doing, the word could be related to your activity. For example, if you are going bowling, the word could be "strike" , "spare" , or even "rented shoes".

   Part of the fun of the game is to not let other people know what you are up to. Let them wonder why you are randomly kissing for no (obvious) reason!

Alright, I think thats enough for tongiht.  I'm out.

~*~AsHy~*~

Tom broke up with me.  I am in complete shock.  I thought we were doing good.  Everyone cept saying how jealous they were of our relationship.  Two more days would have been 2 months.  He said he wasnt ready for a serious relationship.  I said i understood, but I'm not sure if I really do.  I should have asked more questions, but I had to say as little as possible because I didnt want him to hear how hard I was crying.  I feel like I'm going to throw up.  My mouth keeps going dry, but my face stays soaked with tears.  I love him so much.  I dont think he realizes just how much he means to me.  I know I've already lost him for now, but I dont want to lose him forever.  How do I prevent it?  I waited all day for tonight to come cuz I figured he'd get to call me while his aunt & uncle were sleeping.  When he called, hearing his voice made me cry harder. And now Margos playing Fall Out  Boy.  Is he still gonna call me?  Will he still IM me?  How will he act around me?  Will he ever come back to me?  I miss him already.  Towards the begging he told me he was scared, but I dont know.  This just really sucks.  Everything I see or hear reminds me of him.  I keep thinking of all the fun I had with him & how happy he made me.  I miss being in his arms where I always felt safe.  I miss his kiss that always made my whole body tingle.  I dont know what to say to him.  How long has he felt this way?  When will I stop crying?  Will it ever be the same again?  I guess i'm gonna go try to sleep until I have to face the reality of tomorrow & days that may follow it.

~*~AsHy~*~